Friday Night Funnies: Dinner For My Husband!

A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends.
"Oh, no!"
She suddenly exclaimed.
"Look at the time!
I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so pissed if
it's not ready on time."

When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted
Lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the
Supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and
Garnished it with the lettuce leaf.
She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror
As he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.

"Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage!
You can make this for me any day!"

Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the
Same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified.

"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed!?

Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the
Clubhouse, and one of them said,
"You killed him! We told you that feeding
Him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so
Calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replied,
"I didn't kill him. He fell off the window sill
While he was licking his ass."
Halloween is coming...........


If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock, you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of wine one year ago, drunk all the wine, then turned in the bottles for the recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind: 

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Kitty is all in!!


Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Paddy McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Paddy had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw


Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.  So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year,,, Helllooooo?  It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.. There was only silence at the other end of the line,so I finally hung up.  He never called back.  I bet he felt like an idiot.
And finally, guaranteed to drive you crazy.....Find the cat.

Have a great weekend! I have to get all my Halloween stuff out. Ghosts, coffins, zombies, guillotine and various witches and ghosts need to be dusted off and set out for the big scare!