I am hearing more and more over the years about the 'other side' of child support court cases - not the ones we usually hear about where a parent is trying desperately to get a few bucks in support on a regular basis from the other parent, but ones where it just seems freaking CRAZY how much they are going after. Most often you hear about women endlessly taking their exes to court to get more cash and I am starting to hear more often about how some dads are seriously considering walking away from the child sometimes because they just cannot afford to keep going to court, and keep getting hit up for more money. In some cases it's just one or the other blowing smoke, but I happen to know both parents very well in the story that will follow and I am increasingly at odds with the MOTHER.
First off, the child in question is 12. And that's about how many times the mother has taken the father to court. She lives in a very nice house in a very nice neighbourhood with her fairly well-off boyfriend, gets a widow's pension on top of her deceased husband's work pension - while the father of her 12 year old lives in an old cruddy house, drives an old cruddy car that is about to fall apart, and she is after yet again more money. I really don't understand it. She is now trying to get a chunk of his overtime pay because she feels she has a right to that along with a big chunk of his regular pay. Keep in mind that he has his son every other weekend and many weekdays each week, so the boy is spending about 40% of his time with his dad, who then feeds him, clothes him, etc. As well, he has to pay 75% of every extracurricular activity, school fee, etc on top of all that and started working more overtime whenever he could because half the time he is barely able to make his mortgage and utilities payments let alone anything else.... but now she wants some of that too. What does she do for a living? Nothing. All of her children are in school full days now (she had 2 with the deceased husband), and she still does not work. I see her all the time because her kids go to the same school as mine and I just want to reach out and rattle her brains when I pass her in the halls.
I have two exes and combined I get less child support than this man pays for one child, even though my exes make about the same. I don't ask them for more unless I really really need it because I figure the amount they pay is an equal share compared to what we put out for a bigger house, food, utilities, etc. I dont even ask for money for school fees (though I probably should), I just ask for half sports stuff now cos it's getting expensive. I just want enough to help raise the kids and also because I have the kids 99% of the time due to my exes living far away. If they had the kids more and were paying more directly, I would ask for even less in child support or at least not increase it very often. I have not gone to court even once for support or visitation issues. I realize some people have no choice and a personal agreement doesnt happen, but what about the ones who keep endlessly getting dragged into court over this stuff? Surely that cannot be good for the children either. Kids arent stupid, they can tell when there is tension even if they do not know directly what is goign on. It's aggravating to me.
But I also ask - why are courts allowing this to go on? I wouldnt survive long as a judge because I'd be ranting and raving at such plaintiffs and get kicked out of my robes lol. But seriously, why does this go on? It's such a waste of time and money all around, and drain on the other parent's finances just to satisfy some insane 'need' inside the custodial parent to prove a point or something. Crazy if you ask me.