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A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the Company another nasty letter of complaint.
The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST.
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your Wooden Leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
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You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10.. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7.. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
6.. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,'
And you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or...'
And can't remember the rest.
4.. By the end of the night,
you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3.. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2.. You're the only Power Ranger in the
neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go
Trick Or Treating...
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1. You keep having to go home to tinkle!
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Halloween Card.
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Have a great weekend. I have noticed not many houses are decked out for Halloween, but we are doing our part to keep the tradition alive.